I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
