that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
