ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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