so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
