she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
