when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
