Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
