how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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