if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
my poor anus
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
