i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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