do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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