i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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