Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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