im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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