Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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