PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
