Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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