is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
