let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
