My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Even my vagina gasped.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
