We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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