I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
