seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
