literally had 100 drinks last night.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize