Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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