Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
