i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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