He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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