Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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