They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize