ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
