I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
