Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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