Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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