I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
