in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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