Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
