The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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