I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
