I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
