I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
