She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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