i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize