He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You're like the curious george of whores
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize