No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
