Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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