he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize