do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize