My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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