A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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