The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
