I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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