I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize