i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
