Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
