i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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