I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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