I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
