I wish life had little blips of pornography
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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