I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
