oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You smell like stripper and shame
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
