In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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