dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
this boner is exhausting
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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