There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
