Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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